News
De-escalation
How to cool down the fired-up customer.
January 22, 2008
This article originally published in Retail Customer Experience magazine, Feb. 2008.Click hereto download a free PDF version.
It's an all too familiar situation to most retailers: You, the manager or owner, are minding your business when you hear raised voices. At the customer service counter, you find an employee matching words with an irate customer. Despite the employee's efforts to explain your company policies, the customer only is getting angrier. Customers and employees are watching, and you can just imagine how they'll retell this story to all their friends.The best store reputation in the world is destroyed one unhappy customer at a time. While many retail managers consider a small percentage of customer dissatisfaction unavoidable, the good news is, it doesn't have to be. Some simple habits and techniques will resolve most hostile customer situations.
The fancy word for these techniques is "de-escalation." What it means is being able to diffuse people who are irrational, angry or upset. And without exception, all of the available techniques or programs are based on principals of clinical psychology. Many businesses, not just retail, have adapted these techniques for dealing with clients in an effective problem-solving manner.
Why commit to using de-escalation?
De-escalation training is a commitment. The techniques can be learned in half a day, but they must be practiced for any benefit. Some people take to the training easily, and some have difficultly with it. But the benefits are numerous for those who train themselves and their employees in this therapeutic skill set. Aside from the principal benefit of reducing customer upset and walkouts, which in turn keeps your word-of-mouth marketing in good shape, you'll notice other benefits as well.
You'll find that reflective listening and empathy increase customers' sense of caring personal service. Used among managers and employees, these techniques reduce conflict by helping them communicate with each other more effectively. All of these benefits add to the store's bottom line by increasing return, word-of-mouth business and productivity.
The simplified guide to de-escalation
De-escalation has four rules. To help illustrate them, let me introduce Larry the Irate Customer.
Rule 1: It's better to solve the situation than be right. Larry approaches the checkout angry. Do not correct Larry; do not get into a debate over policy with Larry; and never, ever take what he says personally. Larry does not care about your policy — he is upset and irrational. Trying to defend yourself or debate with Larry is a win/lose scenario. For example:
Larry: "I need to talk to someone about the bad customer help in here!"
The majority of failed customer interactions occur because the employee needs to be right or corrects the customer. The key to solving conflict is to be non-confrontational. |
Employee: "Well, sir, we're specifically trained to help every customer, but I need you to be patient for a little while."
This "us vs. them" response puts off and corrects the customer, making him angrier. After this, it is going to be virtually impossible to calm Larry. The majority of failed customer interactions occur because the employee needs to be right or corrects the customer. The key to solving conflict is to be non-confrontational.
At the end of the day, will it really matter whether you told off Larry? No, but if you do and lose a customer, which costs you money, it will matter. Employees must come to terms with the fact that de-escalation can help them by averting a crisis, saving time and hassle and making the boss happy. Once employees understand this technique helps them, even the most cynical or rebellious ones will embrace the idea.
Rule 2: Show empathy. Larry is upset, which is an emotional response. Reasoning with him will not fix the problem. Listening and empathizing will, which is what Larry really wants before he will allow you to address the reason he is upset. Ask questions about the problem, and empathize with the person's emotional response.
A technique called active listening typically helps this process. Active listening involves listening to a person's statements and then summarizing the person's concern to make sure that you heard it correctly, like this:
Larry: "I have been trying to get help in here for 15 minutes and no one will talk to me!"
Employee: "So it sounds like you wanted help and no one assisted you, is that right?"
By reframing the customer's complaint you: a) tell him you are listening, b) are not assuming you understand, which is demeaning, and c) are remaining passive. Add empathy to active listening; be concerned for and understand the customer. You want to be on Larry's side, not against him:
Larry: "Yeah, I asked three people for help, and no one even looked up at me!"
Employee: "Oh, man, that would bother me, too. You must be pretty mad."
Once the training becomes ingrained as habit, you will see conflicts in the store decrease rapidly. |
Rule 3: Look like you mean it. None of these techniques will work if your nonverbal behavior, such as posture and tone of voice, doesn't match your words. Don't shuffle papers or look at something else when talking to the customer. Don't talk in a condescending or monotone voice. Don't slouch, fold your arms or roll your eyes. Any of these actions are a communication death sentence. Do look Larry in the eyes and pay complete attention to him. Do speak in a soft but hearable tone and do try to put yourself in his shoes. Recognize that Larry is just as busy as you and has spent his time being frustrated and waiting to talk to you.
Rule 4: Provide productive solutions, not absolutes. Give Larry some time to talk about the problem. Ask him questions and empathize, and then ask Larry what you can do to fix the problem. In many cases, if he is allowed to vent and is treated respectfully, he won't really know what to do because the fact that he was upset was the actual problem.
If the customer asks for a reasonable solution, do it. You're keeping your word-of-mouth marketing in good shape. If the suggestion isn't reasonable, politely tell him you would love to do that, but you can't and offer an alternative solution.
Employee: "Larry, it's understandable that you're upset. How can I fix this for you? We don't want you leaving here without feeling good about XYZ company."
Larry (having vented): "Well, I suppose you could give me a shopping spree!"
Employee: "I'd love to, but I would get fired! How about this, let me help you find the doohickey you're looking for, answer your questions and give you 10 percent off. Would that make things better for you?"
The examples used here may seem obvious or simple. That's because they are. (Remember, this is a simplified guide.) Keep in mind that while de-escalation operates under a simple set of rules, the hard part is practicing. To use these techniques effectively, you must be comfortable with the acting involved in de-escalation.
Finding and using de-escalation training
A lot of training programs are out there. Every business is different, so it is important to find a program that fits your business' culture. If you, like me, prefer the nuts and bolts of a process without excess frills, contact mental health professionals for suggestions. Another good place to start is the International Association for Conflict Management. IACM is a scientific organization that publishes peer-reviewed articles on conflict management. It has some free resources, and it may be able to help you find literature or a specific program to suit your needs.
You can send yourself or a manager to a seminar, but, for these techniques to be most effective, you must create an employee culture where everyone practices these techniques. I wouldn't advocate shipping your entire employee pool to several seminars, but I would suggest that one manager really work on the technique, and, after an initial employee seminar, spend 30 minutes a week practicing it with employees. Once the training becomes ingrained as habit, you will see conflicts in the store decrease rapidly.
Give de-escalation some thought. A little organization and commitment is involved, but employees who are well-trained in these techniques are employees that will help you grow your business.
Brian Laythe, Ph.D., is a digital signage consultant, professor and co-owner of L3 Digital Media Solutions, a company focused on the content effectiveness of digital signage. He can be reached at blaythe@L3DMS.com.
